Boundaries

Often we aren't modelled what boundaries look like. Those who wish to control you wouldn't want you to have boundaries nor would those with substance abuse issues. We need to learn this as we go.

For me, the first step in having boundaries was learning my core values. Make a list of all values, that have meaning to you, and then decide on your top five. If something doesn't feel just right, or you can't decide what to say yes to, just check on your values. Not in alignment with your values? Then say no without guilt. It's your life, after all. Nobody else gets to decide what's important to you or how to live your life and those angered by your decision have ulterior intentions, other than you living your best life, because only you get to decide on your life story.

Check in with your life regularly, especially if you're feeling overwhelmed, anxious, resentful or depression. Which are all signs of boundary issues. Check with your calendar, check around your home to the align with what's important to you.

To help with your boundary list here is MY top 5 and also the top 60 values (of 216) from the Science of People website. 

Kim's Top 5 Boundary List (and why)

1. Stability - When you've been trapped in a toxic relationship, facing the possibility of homelessness, bankruptcy and the loss of your child and fur babies, stability becomes absolutely essential.  I'll  never be in a position of loss again. Ever. This becomes primal.

2. Calmness, peace, connection with Spirit - To me, this is all one and the same. Again, past experiences and lack (less than ideal home life, growing up) have made these a priority in my life. Being outdoors was a way to achieve this feeling, as a child, growing up in rural Alberta. 

3. Joy - Finding joy in all aspects of life is definitely the best way to live life, I find. It's also the best way to attract your wants in life and to get through any tough time.

4. Freedom - Not being trapped in a job, a social situation, or an obligation is an amazing feeling. So light, so joyful. One way is to free yourself from too much clutter, whether it be belongings or in your schedule!

5. Humour - A cure for anything... sadness, depression, indecision, confusion, overwhelm. Humour helps to bridge from the unwanted to the wanted quicker than any other way, for me.

The Science of People (60/216)

1. Honesty
2. Integrity
3. Wisdom
4. Autonomy
5. Loyalty
6. Abundance
7. Kindness 
8. Charity 
9. Respect
10. Courage
11. Generosity
12. Gratitude
13. Openness
14. Accountability 
15. Compassion
16. Success
17. Self-love
18. Spirituality
19. Justice
20. Forgiveness
21. Caring 
22. Faith
23. Beauty
24. Spirituality
25. Wealth
26. Beauty
27. Acceptance
28. Humor
29. Intuition
30. Prosperity
31. Change
32. Gracefulness
33. Peacefulness
34. Harmony
35. Balance
36. Joy/Fun
37. Independence
38. Efficiency
39. Promise-keeping
40. Fairness
41. Sincerity
42. Accuracy
43. Goodness
44. Hope
45. Honor
46. Humility
47. Insightfulness
48. Influence
49. Decisiveness 
50. Knowledge
51. Lawfulness
52. Calmness
53. Bliss
54. Clarity
55. Cleanliness 
56. Boldness 
57. Optimism 
58. Bravery 
59. Friendliness 
60. Selflessness

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www.MindfulKim.ca 

Looking to bring order to your chaotic life? Add your name to the wait list for the Mindful Kim's Mindful Life Community and Boot Camp by emailing Kim.